5 Awesome Things To Do in Our Town But Not the Weekend You're Here

Come back literally any other weekend!

Photo by Aranxa Esteve on Unsplash

Welcome to Scumble, Georgia! We are so glad you decided to join us. Make sure to check out these five attractions that are sure to make you want to return to Scumble again and again.

The Pig Hat Festival

Held on the first weekend in September on the town square, the Pig Hat Festival celebrates Scumble’s origins as a pig farming community. That heritage shines through today both as Scumble’s main industry and the reason you can smell your way here.

The photos of your AirBNB looked great, didn’t they? But you can’t smell a web site photo can you? Welcome to Scumble!

Antique Big Tent Revival

All year long your antique furnishings sit there in your house gathering Satanic spirits. But bring them down to the Antique Big Tent Revival on the second weekend in September and they’ll be born again.

There’s also a flea market where you can pick up a few things that were never in style. Now with fewer literal fleas!

Pig Trough Brewery

Okay, granted, this one’s not a festival it’s just a brewery that opened up in the featureless waste of “down town.” But hey, we don’t make any money unless we hype business interests, so get your ass down there and taste a few cold suds. They might even be worth taking off the clothespin you put on your nose to fight the pig smells. Ask about their Obligatory IPA!

Knit And Sit festival

Held every year on the third weekend in September, the Knit and Sit festival is a great time to get together with old friends in a nice old rocking chair and work on those knitting projects. Don’t know how to knit? No problem! Classes are available for everyone from zygote to recently deceased.

You’re probably wondering if we accept people who want to crochet instead. Absolutely not. Fuck you!

The Scumble Barbecue Festival

Held every year on the fourth weekend of September, the SBF is the pinnacle of home-grown heritage-style pit barbecue made by folks without any of your fancy big-city training or health department regulations.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a brisket could be slow-cooked by a drunk man until it has the flavor of a church bulletin and the texture of shag carpet, the SBF is the answer to both.

Sure, our pit bosses could do a much better job. But nobody in Scumble would ever know the difference. What are you, too good for Scumble? Get ‘em, boys!