AI Dentists Outpace Human Dentists Ability to Upsell Bullshit
It's man vs. machine in the race to tooth profit
“I admit I was skeptical at first,” said Maurice Lars, DMD. “But now that I’ve seen these robot dentists in action, I think the industry faces big changes.”
Lars, whose patients call him, “Mo,” says one of the most difficult parts of the job is explaining profitable treatments to patients. He says his technicians get squeamish about trying to talk people into, for example, having their teeth vibrated.
“That one was basically just a bluetooth speaker we were putting in people’s mouths,” he said. “Techs hated upselling it. Patients said it didn’t do anything, which is insane. It definitely did something. I got a Cybertruck.”
Truth Decay
But critics say that dentistry is a profession that should always be between two human beings. Ginger Bidiss, DMD, said she’s adamant about that.
“When I’m in there telling a patient that shining blue light in their mouth for $250 actually does something, that connection between me, the patient, and an 85% profit margin is sacrosanct. No robot should ever intervene,” said Bidiss.
Bidiss also referenced a plastic thingy that pushes on someone’s gums in a wierd way, and a chalky goo that makes teeth feel like wool sweaters. “Those two together is about $1000 billable and 80% profit. You think a robot could do that? Not in my practice. No way.”
Last Bite
“I get what Dr. Bidiss is saying,” said Lars. “But these things have to be seen to be believed.”
Lars said the AI dentists were able to shrug off human questions about whether the profitable treatments were effective in a way that humans just can’t.
“I hear people saying AI hallucinations and other mistakes are bad. I love ‘em! Patient concerns bounce off these robots like so much water off healthy enamel. And if the robot’s going on about electric sheep or advocating genocide, who cares? It gets the topic off the treatments. Genius!”