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Biden Springs Into Action With Emergency Executive Haiku
Gotta include the kigo, man. The kigo!
Rocked by the events of the previous week, Democratic US President Joe Biden vowed new vigor and a renewed fight by resorting to an ancient Japanese form of poetry.
“Listen. Let me be clear. This is bigger than singing on the steps, Jack,” he said. “It’s bigger than Nancy’s poem. We need clear poetry from this office using ancient Japenese constraints.”
The President gathered his closest advisors and began counting syllables to conform to haiku’s famous 5-7-5 format. But momentum stalled as the team remembered haiku also traditionally includes a kigo, a word or phrase referring to a season.
“Hey. Come on. What’s going on here? Obviously it’s summer, literally, so we could use ‘summer', but will that put people too much in mind of climate? We need their focus on something else,” mused the President.
The President’s team assured reporters that the devastating haiku, once completed, would be released between today and next month.