I don’t like to brag but I’ve had some success over the last few weeks. Remember when my owner was just walking into work, late, and he reached for his keycard to get in the door? I dailed up his boss, thus making sure his boss noticed he was late. Classic.

We don’t even need to mention the times I’ve dialed up people who are romantically uncomfortable or otherwise awkward. Old flames, people from one or two awkward dates, or just regular folks from work dialed late at night. Anyone in my line of work can call them. It’s choosing just the right/wrong person at just the right moment that sets me apart.

Watch yourself out there. My next move is coming. What will it be? Wouldn’t you like to know!