Futuristic Restaurant's Drone Wait Staff Uses AI to Despise Customers
Computer says no.
Incoming live screenings of my film The Mostly Serious History of Wine. I hope you’ll join me.
You can also watch the film whenever you want on iTunes, Prime, and lots of other places, but I’ll be at City Winery Atlanta on Feb 19th and at Cloudland Vinyards on March 9th. Thank you! -Jim
I have known for a long time the direction my industry is going. We can’t uptrend our profits because we’re forced — forced! — to treat certain business assets in certain ways.
I’m just supposed to accept that a business asset is allowed to stop producing simply because it has fallen into an arbitrary government designation like, “going into labor” or “having a disease?” That makes me uprage!
And worse, we can’t simply offload the inefficient assets because we need them to prepare food materials and bring them to the restaurant’s ingesting surfaces. Well, not anymore, baby.
Say Hello to iWait
With our new drone waitstaff we have finally put the industry’s biggest weakness behind us. No more sick days. No more exorbitant ongoing cost. No more fake accusations of conditions that don’t even exist, like so-called “wage theft.”
“What about sexual harassment claims?” you ask. That’s either no longer a problem or an added downloadable feature.
And best of all, our drones are trained on real wait staff and turbocharged using AI to give customers the service they deserve: barely any!
Developmental Hurdles
Of course you hate your customers. They are trash. Always yammering on about “that bleach smell,” about the floor “slick with bleach,” and their children’s “burning eyes.”
From front of house to the alley behind the kitchen, everyone in the restaurant knows that customers are the worst. But because they are trained on your inefficient so-called “human” service assets, your drones’ AI will pick up on and adopt that same loathing.
This might lead to some bad reviews, but you will absorb that revenue hit many times over when you’ve eliminated labor costs.
Pro tip: simply force your staff to make multiple fake accounts reviewing your business highly during the training phase. The drones will learn to do that too!