Hyena Urges Wildebeest to Return to Office Work
Hyena Urges Wildebeest to Return to Office Work
Come on, guys. It's so FUN here!
With all that’s been going on. I feel like I’ve hardly chased any of you. Haha! Just kidding around. But seriously, we should all return to office work. Especially you, wildebeest.
Look, some of you have said that the “data” indicate we’re all just as productive, if not more productive, working from home. They’ve even pointed out that “productivity” should include how much more time remote workers spend doing family stuff, like protecting your young from being eaten. Well, to that I say, “watch this TikTok of me dancing in the office!”
Whoa baby, this hyena’s got moves, right? Shoo wee! Come back to office work!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to train junior hyenas on an empty savanna? They just wander around gnawing on the cubicles.
Think of those waterhole conversations we used to have. Do you have any interactions at all around your safe water holes? I doubt it! You can get sick drinking too much water too calmly, you know. Look it up!
It’s inevitable. You know it, I know it, and our landlord holds a several-years-long commercial lease that definitely knows it. Let’s just skip all this nonsense and get back to the office, you tender, delicious, productive wildebeests.
Oh damn, here’s another TikTok of me dancing in the cafeteriaaaaa getting a cup of cold brew!