In-Game AI Spouse Asks For Divorce After Quick Ad Break
In-Game AI Spouse Asks For Divorce After Quick Ad Break
And it sounds like she is keeping our dragon. But baby, we got him together!
“My love,” she breathed, her words sounding very near her breasts, “The stars say it’s time for our relationship to change.”
I felt my world shifting underneath me. Was she leaving me? This would change every single thing in my entire life including this play-through.
“But why?” I screamed, causing my little brother in his real world bedroom to yell back through the wall, “What?”
The AI understood my response.
Hopes Haberdashed
My love spoke once more. “For one thing, you’ve barely purchased any hats.” She emphasized the word “hats” as though it especially irritated her. But the word might also have been accidentally emphasized by a voiceover recording session that didn’t quite match. Hard to tell.
Regardless, she was right. I had not purchased any in-game hats for her character and I had not been lucky enough to win any in the in-game loot chests. Perhaps I really am afraid of commitment, as she’d suggested.
But no, that can’t be right. I have hundreds of hours in this game.
Ultimate Betrayal
I searched her face as she searched her feelings. Then she found one. “Did you know that the Mattress Hovel can deliver in under 24 hours anywhere in the contiguous 48-” she asked.
Rage filled my senses. I’d disabled out-of-character in-game advertisements repeatedly, even used some registry hacks, but the developers had found some way to turn them back on.
Again, I screamed. I pounded my desk. As the echoes faded away, I felt calm return.
After a few quiet moments, in the distance, my little brother yelled, “…what?”
End of Innocence
I knew what I would have to do. Hours of play-through simply weren’t enough. I had to face myself, shed my fears, and redouble my commitments.
I took her face gently in my claws, my character’s sexy but intimidating mandibles clicking with emotion. My weirdly-human abdominal muscles rippled with sexy power.
“I’ll listen to anything you say, my love,” I breathed. Instantly, the AI knew to disable any settings against advertisements. Ads would flood not only the game, but my feeds everywhere. The developers would be able to post about themselves as me. But I didn’t care. I would suffer it all.
“At least we will be together,” I said.
She nodded and jiggled a little. Then she spoke softly, “Did you know that a solid financial future starts with gold?”