New Discoveries Reveal 38% of Triceratops Supported Asteroid Deregulation

Well well well... if it isn't the result of my actions.

By Ginkgoales - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=116027237

A stunning series of discoveries have revealed that not only did dinosaurs in the Maastrichtian era of the late Cretaceus period have self awareness and complicated societies, but that a significant portion of those societies supported the means of their own demise.

“Though it seems to have been popular in some dinosaur circles at the time,” said Dr. Foz Sillrecord, paleontologist, “we can now draw a direct line between asteroid deregulation and the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event which wiped out 3/4 of life on Earth.”

It’s not clear by what means the dinosaurs intended to regulate asteroids.

“That part doesn’t really matter,” said Burt Doogle from the web site TokenOpp.view. “What matters is that each of us, regardless of sentience, education, or alternative agenda, gets to express their view alongside anyone else.” Doogle paused, then added, “And, if you have horns, maybe gore a few people.”

Doogle then shared simulations from his social media which suggest superwealthy specimens might have funded vanity projects possibly going as far as space travel, adding that interviewers should click like and subscribe.

But Dr. Sillrecord was not impressed. “We only know for sure what we can see in the fossil record, and it’s plain as day. A significant percentage of these animals were in favor, in some sense, of the means of their own destruction.”

As of press time, Dr. Sillrecord also declined to click “like,” or “subscribe.”