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People Shouldn't Identify as Things They're Not Except for Me, a Stoic
I am so swollen with alpha-ness I have impregnated my own mind
You probably don’t understand Hellenistic stoicism the way I do, but I can simmer it down for you in three simple words: Good. Vibes. Only.
And it’s that very stoicism — which I understand totally, deeply, and alpha-ly — which gets me through the day.
Of course, as an alpha male, nothing bothers me. But if anything did it would probably be when people try to identify as things they are not.
Fake it ‘till you make it? More like fake it till I vomit Kill Cliff.
I Am A Big Strong Stoic Alpha Mansteak
For example, I have learned through alpha male manspeak muscle channels that there are children in high school who identify as chameleons.
Schools are being forced to repaint hallways in neutral colors because these out-of-control — and yes, let’s face it — liberal kids and their parents. They say too many colors could confuse their chameleon children into trying to change their skin into too complicated a pattern. Can you believe that? I do!
Kids should be forced to lift heavy, eat clean, and play sports I like, just like I was forced to do in the history of my life as told by me to you; do not ask anyone else who was there!
The Only Way to Understand The World is to View It Through The Lens of History As Understood By Me
Did the stoics have theatre? Absolutely not. Neither should we. Football is theatre enough unless you’re not alpha enough.
Did the stoics let themselves indulge in an interpretation of sexual roles different to the roles I judge to be normal in the modern day? Again, absolutely not. Men were men. Women were women. And slavery happened long enough ago that it’s no one’s fault.
And for all of you haters out there who say tolerance is a virtue and stoics valued virtue, you will be proven wrong on the field of battle. I don’t know where that is or will be but I know that when it comes I will have been there after the fact, according to me.
Trust the plan. Lift the weight. Reserve my parking space. Read the stoics. Summarize them to me in bite-sized DMs. Alpha over and stoic out.
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