Planet Friendly! Our Company Will Plant a Tree For Every Acre of Parking Lot

We care about looking like we care about.

Photo by Collie Coburn on Unsplash

Breathe deep. It feels good, doesn’t it? If so, you can thank a tree.

You see, when trees reproduce, they first make each other horny by emitting oxygen. It’s basically like a tree version of discount body sprays. When nearby trees smell that oxygen they brush their leaves back, put on their best bark, and go at each other like rabbits launched from opposing catapults. It’s extremely hot.

The benefit for you and me is sweet, sweet oxygen which we need to survive.

You see, your body is like a giant factory. It needs tons and tons of chemicals. That includes normal fuel like soggy bread and dark-roast coffee. But according to some scientists, it also needs oxygen.

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Breathe In Our Marketing

Here at Clapmuy Asphalt, we are leaning toward convinced about how critical oxygen is to human life. That’s why for every acre of parking lot we lay down we will plant a certified tree.

How much is an acre? It’s about 144 parking spaces, or, just enough room to remember where the theatre, record shop, book store, and artists lofts used to be.

You’ve probably noticed that most parking lots include a tree per square mile or so, but we’re taking it to the next level. Why? Because we care.

So the next time you take a deep calming breath, remember to thank a tree. And maybe take a moment to imagine how horny that tree was at the time it made that oxygen. And if you’re thinking of building a parking lot, remember Clapmuy Asphalt.

We’re the planet-friendly people who care about you and fantasize about trees.