Robot Butler Adds Subscription Service to Not Rip Your Limbs Off
Release notes, BaleyTech Inc., Olivaw Series 2.3.45b
Hello out there all you Olivawies! If you got your OTA update last night you probably noticed that your home assistant has been trying to get your attention to share some new features with you.
Yes, we have heard that some of you would like it if your Olivaw model did not interrupt you on the way to the bathroom in the morning. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves on new features. Besides, when important updates get released we’re just so diddley-dang excited to share them with you!
So here’s what’s in the latest release!
Nature Time Freedom
Nature Time Freedom is now in beta, as heavily requested by our community.
For just an additional $14.99 monthly ($12.99 paid yearly) Olivaw will try not to actively interrupt you when you are in the bathroom or during sexual activity. Of course, your android friend will still be monitoring all your vitals as well as those of anyone else in sensing range, but we reject to the chracterization that your Olivaw is “listening,” to you have sex. Of course, it’s also recording audio. Sorry!
If you’d rather not share this data with our advertising partners, no problem! Just check the box agreeing to that additional small fee. We are sorry for any inconvenience.
Solo Mode has received a new update where your Olivaw will no longer turn on your devices when you are not home. This was conceived as a training tool to better condition your Olivaw’s AI.
Nevertheless, we are responding to the community’s impression that our units were turning on your devices and watching our socials just to bump our view counts. This was not the case at all, but we understand and are sorry.
Sorry, guys! It won’t happen again and we are sorry.
Lastly and most exciting, we are releasing a fully-tested feature finally out of beta: Limb Independence.
You may have noticed that while restraining you, depending on environmental conditions outside our control such as your body weight, certain Olivaw models have inadvertently de-limbed certain users under very rare conditions. We are deeply sorry for any inconvenience.
Even though these circumstances were extremely rare and usually limited to no more than two limbs per incident, we are so sorry and so sure that it won’t happen again that we are offering this update for an introductory reduced rate of just $14.99 monthly ($12.99 paid yearly).
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