Safari Animals Prank Tourists by Being Able to Walk Across Park
I am offended.
Sources close to the Ngorongoro Crater staff say “quite a few” tourists reported a protracted campaign of harassment directed at them by the park’s wildlife. Guests say they realize animals naturally walk around but there’s an extra layer of sarcasm to it.
“It’s definitely on purpose,” said William de Beest, a computersman from Provo, UT. “They’re out there like, ‘Hey, look at me you lazy humans, I’m all ambulatory and close to a healthy weight for my species.’ It’s super rude.”
Upon reflection, de Beest conceded that he probably wasn’t spending as much time in the gym as he should. But he didn’t think it was fair the animals made a “whole thing” out of it.
The Wildest Life
“We’ve never seen anything quite like this,” said Tom Songazel, park guest relations coordinator. “The animals have always moved themselves around the park by whatever means are natural.”
But Wyatt Reyneau, a software botherer from Demoans, IA, said a baboon openly mocked his walk.
“I’m a big guy. Always have been for the last five years,” said Reyneau. “I don’t like to use the word, ‘waddle,’ but that’s kinda where we’re at with my walking.”
Reyneau says the baboons saw him making his way from the bathroom building back to the safari truck and then imitated his walk. He claims he was openly mocked in front of other guests, the assembled baboons, two giraffe, and a secretary bird.
“I honestly don’t know if a secretary bird can laugh but the baboons were definitely mocking me. And that giraffe smirked,” said Reyneau. “I do not have to take this and I will not be back.”
Evidentiary Proceedings
Reyneau’s case is remarkable due to video evidence. One of the other guests on his safari happened to be filming when the incident with the baboons occurred.
In addition to leaving disparaging online reviews for the park, for giraffe, and especially for baboons, Reyneau has hired lawyers to argue his case against the Ngorongoro Conservation Association, claiming undue emotional strain. But it’s not clear what course would try the case.
Tom Songazel is not sure what the park, or indeed anyone, can do about the issue even if they wanted to. He says he is sure that moving about the park using legs, wings, etc. is something the animals are going to continue to do in perpetuity.
Regardless, he’s not concerned about Reyneau’s case.
“I’m speaking personally here, not representing the park in any way, and I am not a lawyer. But I don’t think you can sue a baboon,” said Songazel. “They are notoriously ungovernable.”
Songazel declined to comment on whether a giraffe can smirk.
See My Film at Yonah Mountain Vineyards
Hi gang. If you’re in the Atlanta Area you can join me and some friends for a screening of my film, The Mostly Serious History of Wine, at Yonah Mountain Vineyards on July 26th.
It’s the night before my birthday so there will be much revelry and possibly some nonsense and even shenanigans.
If you’re not in the area, you can, of course, still watch the film at the usual places like Apple TV and Amazon.
Thank you love you mean it.