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Try These Swedish Methods of Beating Summer Heat That All Rely on Being in Sweden
These sure-fire methods will help you cool down and save money as long as you already live in Sweden.
Summer is nearly over, but as the Earth gets a little warmer every year it might not feel like it. Did you know that feeling cooler could be as simple as walking outside? It can be!
Sure, it might sound too good to be true, but if you’re feeling a bit hot it could simply be that the air around you isn’t moving enough. Simply walk outside ya big goof!
Feel that air moving around you? Heck it almost feels like the humidity is pretty low too, right? That’s because the furthest south you could possibly be is still north of the 55th parallel North. You’re in Sweden!
Bury Yourself in Frozen Fly-Caught Salmon from the Torne
It might sound unorthodox, and to some it either is or is not. But one thing is for sure: burying yourself in frozen bodies of recently-caught salmon out of the Torne will cool you down big-time.
Heck, you might even have to guard against hypothermia.
Simply travel to Swedish Lapland if you’re not there already — this should have been step one, honestly — and then catch some salmon, freeze them rock hard like a comet nucleus, and then snuggle up. It’s easy!
Or, as English speakers from Sweden would say, “It’s easy!”
Break Into an Ice Making Company’s Facility, Strip Nude, and Get Into Their Ice
If you thought hypothermia was a problem when buried in Lapland salmon, it’s more or less a certainty this time. Make no mistake, this is not for the faint of heart. That’s because your heartbeat will literally be faint as your hypothermia gets worse.
Sweden is dotted with companies who make ice for bobsleigh tracks and other winter sports. But they are notoriously under-prepared for nude burglars seeking the cool respite their machines can provide.
You namby-pambies out there are probably saying, “Hey, couldn’t I go to jail for that?” Well, yes, you probably could. Maybe don’t get caught. But if you do, rest assured that the legal system will treat you fairly and with respect. How do I know?
Because you’re in Sweden!
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