TV News Host Urges Demonic Herald to Remember Show's Hashtags

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Hi! Thanks so much for agreeing to be on the show. It means a lot to us to have you here. Things must be so crazy for you out there getting all those clicks and follows. Where do you find the time?

We’d do anything to have the kind of traction you have on the socials. Haha! No, yeah, actually we would do anything. Did you try the cucumber water?

Okay so, let’s get started. Everything okay with your chair? Totally comfortable? Good. Are we rolling, Mindy? Fabulous.

So, first question: you say that the sun isn’t real and everyone with brown hair should be sliced into three pieces. How many retweets did you get for that? Wow. That many?

But do you ever go outside and look up at the light and radiant heat coming from above and think, hey, maybe that could be something like a sun? Oh. A brown-haired conspiracy. I see. And how many YouTube subscribers has that gotten you?

Wow. I have to admit just hearing social media numbers like that is getting my motor running, you know? Wow.

Does it trouble you at all that there’s mounting evidence that your god-king has opened a portal to hell itself and hired a polka band to herald the coming demonic slugs?

I see. Another brown-haired conspiracy. And what of the polka-loving demonic slugs who are in your entourage? Oh, they’re from Tiktok. I see. Hello, gentlemen! Maybe your algorithm could juice our show a little?

Well, I tell you what, gang, that’s all the hard-boiled questions I have for you. Maybe you’d like to rant for a while unedited? Remember our hashtags!

Hey, is that slug holding a knife? I didn’t know they could- wait. Wait! I’m a redhead. Red! Augh! HASHTAGS!