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I worked my way through college back in my day and you should do the same. Why, just working one extra afternoon at the malt shop covered my tuition, books, apartment, utilities, car payment, alimony, child support, insurance fees, and a sensible retirement plan. You’re just lazy!

Did I mention we walked uphill both ways in the snow? Well it’s true. They didn’t plow the roads back in those days. The sidewalk was too wide and the road too narrow. Not like those six lane highways you spoiled babies have now.

Had to be a quarter of a mile walk from my affordable apartment to my affordable college. And when I graduated I proudly got a middle class job as an apprentice welder that paid me enough to buy a house and retire at 32. But nobody wants to work anymore, do they?

You make me sick.