We Have to Implement AI So I Don't Look Like a Dick on the Golf Course
We Have to Implement AI So I Don't Look Like a Dick on the Golf Course
Leadership!
All Hands,
As you know, this company is facing some pretty big challenges. We have to find a way to satisfy our customers and our investors. So far we’ve just been telling each group that the other is an unreasonable gaggle of semi-sentient bargain dildos. It seems to be working. Let’s call that fire out for now.
But we face an even bigger challenge and that is that I currently look like a soup-limp dingus in front of my golf buds because we have not even tried to implement AI.
All my bros companies have bolted AI onto their processes. Chad’s startup Porthole has AI-guided colonoscopy. Cody’s company iGunder does driverless coffee delivery for newborns. Even Aiden’s sex therapist recommendation engine is AI powered, if his indictments are to be believed. What are we using AI for? Bupkis!
I look like a total fuckmonkey out there. And not the kind Aiden allegedly recommended.
“What are we going to do?” I hear you ask. I’ll tell you what we’re gonna do. You’re going to figure out a way to implement AI or you will be let go. And then we’re going to implement that AI which will mean some of you will be let go.
Success is about sacrfice, hard work, and looking good on the links so you can crush deals. It’s not about looking like an AI-less turd medallion which is where we are right now.
Get in those foxholes and fight, team. Your company needs you. Until, of course, it doesn’t.
Chip out.
Chip Shanker, CEO