Tesla Offers Range Upgrade if Owners Agree to Tweet Something Kinda Racist
You don't have to go full racist, but do try to dabble
As part of a campaign called Free Range for Free Speech, Tesla announced a new software-based range increase for all vehicles in their lineup if owners agree to post something “kinda racist” on CEO Elon Musk’s social media site, X, formerly known as “Twitter.”1
Speaking at a press conference, Tesla public relations manager Leonard Brootz said, “We’re not asking for full-on slurs here, just something kinda lazy and ignorant.”
Brootz said that once Tesla has verified their owner has “xeeted” something sufficiantly “kinda” racist, their vehicle would receive an over-the-air update unlocking some new battery and motor management software that squeezes out those extra miles of range.
As Brootz moved to end the press conference, someone from the crowd shouted to ask why his personal Tesla was significantly down on range since he’d bought it new a few months ago.
“I don’t know,” said Brootz, “But let me ask you this. Have you been calling X, ‘X?’”
A reporter in the front row asked for clarification: “Are you saying that Musk is turning down the range for media who aren’t calling it ‘X?”
“I’m not saying anything,” confirmed Brootz. “I’m just saying, maybe there are reasons things happen. Maybe look at that.”
And presently.